
Have you ever said something to your kid and not loved the way it sounded? Did you have that feeling in the pit of your stomach--like you knew it wasn’t the best way to talk to your child, but you genuinely didn’t know what else to say, or how to say it?
Don’t worry! Emry’s got your back: We’re going to reframe your instructions as questions.
Here’s how
STOP! Wait to see what your kid does before you give an instruction
Zoom out - look at the situation as a whole, not just the part
Count to 10 before you say anything
Let’s practice
“Stop making a mess!”
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“Are you going to be able to clean that up all by yourself when you’re done?”
“Shhhh! Not so loud!”
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“Uh-oh! Is this the place for being loud?”
“Put your coat on!”
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“Is your body going to be warm enough in that outfit?”
“Don’t hit your sibling!”
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“Uh-oh! What are you allowed to hit so that we all stay safe?”
Why it matters
Kids are inundated with instructions all day, every day. This robs them of their feelings of autonomy. Reframing instructions as questions (when it makes sense to do so!) can help restore some fairness to a power dynamic that swings heavily one way.
Now you’re ready to try some of these in real life - you’ve got this! The most important thing to remember is that you and your child are on the same team. And, Emry is here to help. You don’t have to do this alone!