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This month, we’re exploring the theme of frustration—because hard things are part of growing.
Theme
Week 1
Focus: Productive Struggle vs. Overwhelm
Honestly.... Isn't 80% of life dealing with frustration???
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It's certainly one of the key points of childhood, and parenting.
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I think most of us had a similar experience growing up in regards to our own frustrations. Tell me if this sounds familiar: Deal with it! Be quiet. Go to your room. Stop crying!
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Ouch. Those hurt, even now.
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Struggling is inherent to growth, but when we have to do it with no tools or support, it can tip over into trauma at worst, and deep discomfort at best.
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So, when is frustration helping your kiddo grow, and when is their nervous system needing support?
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Weekly Challenge:
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Your challenge this week is to take a big step back and observe your child's frustration, without intervening (caveat: naturally, if it's a safety issue, get in there!).
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We often fall into routines with our interventions, so this challenge is all about breaking the habits and letting our kids show us just what they're capable of, and what they aren't.
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See if you can reduce your interventions by at least 1 time out of every 5, or lengthen the time between the onset of frustration and your intervention. Maybe even trial out some new language. Use this week as a sort of playground for your parenting!
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​Can't wait to hear your observations in our WhatsApp Community!
Week 2
Focus: Refusals
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So, you've rolled out the transition. You paid attention to the data, and you've learned what works, what doesn't, and you know the best way to alert your child that a transition is imminent.
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.... and then you get the dreaded, "No!"
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Now what?? Bribery? Begging? Force?
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Nah, if you're here, you don't want to use those rusty old tools! You want something that works for you and your child, honors everyone's autonomy, and holds the line.
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​​​​​​Weekly Challenge:
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Take inventory of the tools in your toolbox for dealing with your child's refusals. Examine them with a microscope:
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- What tool do you reach for most often? Why?
- Do your tools work?
- How comfortable are you with these tools?
- Does your child understand the tool you're using? How do you know?
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Can't wait to hear your answers!​
Week 3
Focus: Dawdling + Not Listening
You might be saying, "Ok Emry, I get the importance of transitions. But like, most of the time my kids do pretty ok. I don't think about it too much."
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That's great!
But what if they could be better? What if you had a shorthand with your kids that allowed everyone to know what was expected of them and when? What if you could track the data and learn how to curb an issue before it becomes an issue?
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This week, we're going to look at the "simple stuff" - the dawdling and the not listening, and what you can do about it.
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Weekly Challenge:
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When your kids move slowly, get distracted, or seem to ignore instructions, what do you do?
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This week, I want you to pay special attention to those moments. See if you can come back with some solid data about what works in those "mildly annoying" moments, and what really doesn't.
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Emry's tip: Look for ways to streamline and automate systems, rather than relying on your verbal cues!​​​
Week 4
Focus: ​Meltdowns During Transitions
This week is all about when transitions turn into crying, collapsing, yelling, running away, and general weeping and gnashing of teeth.
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As you know, a meltdown is an indicator of a deeper problem. What we don't always know, is what or why. So, we're going to take a closer look at what the meltdown might be communicating during transitions, and see if we can reset that transition!
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Weekly Challenge:
Look for the common threads: When does your kiddo melt down? Can you narrow it down to a type of commonality?
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Some ideas to get you started:
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Time of day
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Hunger or tiredness
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(Mis)Communication
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Too many demands
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Stopping something fun/Moving toward something unpleasant
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Once you've found your common thread, now you can start to de-tangle it and reverse engineer a better solution! (Or, y'know, book a session with me 😉)​