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This month, we’re exploring the theme of frustration—because hard things are part of growing.
Theme
Week 1
Focus: Productive Struggle vs. Overwhelm
Honestly.... Isn't 80% of life dealing with frustration???
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It's certainly one of the key points of childhood, and parenting.
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I think most of us had a similar experience growing up in regards to our own frustrations. Tell me if this sounds familiar: Deal with it! Be quiet. Go to your room. Stop crying!
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Ouch. Those hurt, even now.
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Struggling is inherent to growth, but when we have to do it with no tools or support, it can tip over into trauma at worst, and deep discomfort at best.
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So, when is frustration helping your kiddo grow, and when is their nervous system needing support?
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Weekly Challenge:
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Your challenge this week is to take a big step back and observe your child's frustration, without intervening (caveat: naturally, if it's a safety issue, get in there!).
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We often fall into routines with our interventions, so this challenge is all about breaking the habits and letting our kids show us just what they're capable of, and what they aren't.
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See if you can reduce your interventions by at least 1 time out of every 5, or lengthen the time between the onset of frustration and your intervention. Maybe even trial out some new language. Use this week as a sort of playground for your parenting!
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​Can't wait to hear your observations in our WhatsApp Community!
Week 2
Focus: ​Frustration Explosion
I don't need to explain this to you, you know exactly what this looks like.
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But what I do want to give you is a reframe so you don't explode right alongside your child!
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Frustration leads to explosion when the demand of the moment exceeds the kiddo’s available capacity.
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And I think, on some level, you might have already known that, too. What I hear from most of you is, "But what do I do then?!"
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​​​​​​​Weekly Challenge:
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This week, your mini challenge is to explore your options during those moments when the demand exceeds your kid's capacity.
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See if you can slow time down and get curious, maybe even break the 4th wall. I'll give you some examples:
- I really want to help you right now, but I don't know how.
- Do you just want to be mad about it, or do you want some help?
- I'm feeling frustrated watching you be frustrated. Wanna take a break together?
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What we're aiming for, is something new. It doesn't have to be the magic bullet, we just wanna shake things up this week!
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Go forth and discover!
Week 3
Focus: ​​What to Do in the Moment
By now, you’ve spent a couple of weeks noticing frustration, figuring out when to step in, and getting curious about what might be making a moment especially hard.
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So… what do you actually do when you’re right there in it?
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Cuz folks... Being frustrated isn't just for the kids. We get sucked in just as much, if not more. We want to fix it, explain it, correct it, make it stop.
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And all of that just adds more frustration to an already frustrated kiddo, which further frustrates us and perpetuates the cycle of hell.
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So rather than figuring out how to make the frustration disappear (which we know isn't always possible), let's just focus on figuring out what this particular moment needs from you.
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Weekly Challenge:
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This week, your mini challenge is to slow down your response during frustrating moments.
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When you feel yourself jumping in, pause for just a second and consider:
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What am I feeling pulled to do right now?
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What does my kid actually need from me?
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Can I do less?
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Maybe instead of convincing, you acknowledge. Or instead of fixing the whole problem, you help with one small piece. Maybe you don't worry about the tone, but you just go for the heart of what your kiddo is trying to communicate.
Or maybe, instead of adding more words… you get quieter.
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Tip: There is no perfect response. Just spend the week experimenting with creating a little more space between their frustrations and yours.
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See what you notice!