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November
Expectations
This month, we’re exploring the theme of expectations—because clarity is so much better than disappointment.
Theme Email
Week 1
Focus: Expectations
I believe that a lot of our frustrations and disappointments can be traced back to our expectations. Whether they are mismatched to the people around us, or whether we have some that we don't even realize, unmet expectations can span from feeling annoying to feeling devastating.
Our expectations give us information about ourselves and those in our circles. We're going to start by turning inward: I want us to take the next 4 weeks to dig more deeply into what expectations we have, why, and how they're serving us.
Weekly Challenge:
This week, take some time to reflect on what expectations you have of yourself: As a friend, a partner, a parent, a worker, etc. See if you can trace the expectations to an origin point. Then consider: does this align with my values?
I like to use the THINK strategy as a good barometer. Typically, that's used in the context of think before you speak, with the letters in think standing for true, helpful, insightful, necessary, and kind.
As you uncover your expectations of yourself and their roots, I would like you to examine if they are true, helpful, insightful, necessary, or kind.
As always, if you feel comfy, please do tell us all about your thoughts in the WhatsApp Community! I'd love to hear if anything surprised you on your THINK journey.
Week 2
Focus: Expectations of coparents, childcare providers
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How are you feeling after digging into last week's challenge of discovering the expectations you have of yourself? I hope you were gentle and gave yourself lots and lots of love - you deserve it!
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This week, we're going to use all that good co-parenting stuff we learned last month and use it to examine the expectations we have of our co-parents (you can even expand this to include anyone who partners with you to take care of your children).
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What do you assume the other folks who participate in taking care of your children should know or do without being told?
Weekly Challenge:
Pay attention to recurring irritations in these relationships, and trace it back to an expectation. Use that as your springboard to investigate: Is this expectation fair? Does it make sense? Has it been clearly communicated and agreed upon by all parties involved?
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If you want to share, tell us about an expectation you realized you never actually said out loud!
Week 3
Focus: Expectations of our kids
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​You've already done the grueling work of examining your expectations of yourself and your coparent/childcare providers. Now for the hardest part of all: assessing your expectations of your children.
I want you to really go granular here. The more specific you get, the more data you'll have to find patterns. Those patterns will clue you in to what you really value.
Do you find yourself constantly pushing for your child to do something on their own that they can't yet? Or maybe you find yourself always swooping in to solve their problem? This is helpful data.
Don't go changing things right away. Stick with it and let things unfold naturally over the next week. Stay in the curious zone, and definitely don't judge yourself harshly. We want to hang out in the safety zone of noticing, data gathering, and learning.
Weekly Challenge:
Pay particular attention to the times you find yourself having an emotional reaction to something involving your child. Follow that feeling and try to discover the underlying expectation. Don't be afraid to follow the white rabbit! We're all mad, and safe, here.