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This month, we’re exploring the theme of listening—because the way we listen shapes how our kids listen to us.
Theme Email
Week 1
Focus: Listening
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Please just listen!
You're not listening to me!
Listen!
I literally got stressed just writing out those phrases, because I can hear them in my bones. Which means you probably can, too.
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Listening is a quintessential topic while having a child, and indeed in any relationship. So, why is it so darn hard?
This month, we are going to explore what listening actually means, what we expect, how we model it, and more. If you've got any childhood trauma about not being heard, go ahead and make an extra therapy appointment now, because this theme is probably going to hit hard.
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Let's start with a philosophy check. Hit reply and tell me if you agree or disagree:
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Listening is not a behavior our kids owe us, it's a relational skill they learn by first being listened to.
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Ultimately, you don't have to agree or disagree with that. But let's use it as a thought experiment throughout the month.
- When do children practice listening?
- When do we practice listening?
- Do we name it when it's happening?
- How do our kids know what listening means, feels like, looks like?
Weekly Challenge:
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This week, we're going to zero in on what we mean when we think about listening - for us, and our kids. Take note of when you make requests or give instructions, and what your expectations around the listening are.
Pay special attention to when your child does the same with you. How do you listen? What are you modeling? Don't change anything yet - just stay observing and noticing!
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As always, please feel free to share as much or as little as you feel inspired to in our WhatsApp Community!
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Week 2
Focus: The Double Standard
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​Now that you've got a foundational idea of what listening means to you in your family, we're going to continue our journey by examining the double standard.
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It's not your fault that this double standard exists - it predates us all. But let's name it clearly, so we can work to dismantle this dragon, one scale at a time.
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We expect our kids to listen to us, without feeling like we owe them the same.
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This hits us all - even those of us who are practiced at emotional intelligence and are committed to treating children well. It's a sneaky double standard that just worms its way into tricky moments and before you know it -- BAM! -- you've shut your kid down.
Weekly Challenge:
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Grab some ice cream and tissues, this might not feel good. 😣
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Your challenge this week is to consider the why. Why does this double standard exist in society, and why (sometimes) in your own home. Where does it stem from? How did it take root? And finally, how might you disentangle it from your values system?
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As always, please feel free to share as much or as little as you feel inspired to in our WhatsApp Community!