July

Autonomy: Connection without Control

This month, we’re exploring autonomy—how to give your child more freedom while staying connected, calm, and clear in your role.

Theme Email

Week 1

Summer can be messy. Routines shift, boundaries blur, and kids want more freedom (and snacks. Always snacks. So many snacks). This is the perfect time to check in:

When do you find yourself trying to be in control of your child? And when are you clinging out of habit?
Where is your child ready to stretch their independence? Where can you offer support, without supervision?
What does autonomy currently look like in your family (for all of you!), and what do you want it to look like?

Week 2

This week, let's focus on practical strategies.

What's something your child could probably do on their own....but you keep stepping in just in case?

Now consider how you can manage your own emotions in those sticky moments. Very likely, you're thinking about situations like how your child pours too much juice in their cup and it overflows, or how they make more of a mess when they try to "help clean", or maybe how they take for-ev-er to tie their own shoes.

How do you feel when you're watching these situations unfold? What can you do about that?

Now consider: is there a way you can set up the situation to be successful for your child, completely independently?

-> Pour the right amount of juice into a measuring cup, and let your child pour it from there

-> Give them only the cleaning materials you're fine with them using everywhere, or only give them one area to clean.

-> Plan for the time you need for your child to tie their shoes, or make a deal with them that you do one shoe, they do the other. Or maybe they can practice more when you get back home. Or you plan an extra trip to the store so they can tie their shoes before you go outside for that trip.

What we are looking for are endless opportunities to let your child take the lead in their own learning. We are looking for practical ways they can explore their autonomy, and you can kick back and let them.

Share your thoughts in the WhatsApp Community!

Week 3

Last week we talked about the feeling we get when we see our kiddos trying to do things independently, that don't align with what we know them to be capable of or produce a result we're not comfortable with.

Let's go deeper!

The mini focus this week is: Connection.

Think about how you can stay connected to your child in the wonky independent moment, rather than react to the possibility of something now going well. How can you make your child feel seen, supported, confident?

How can you stay connected to yourself in those moments? What do YOU need to feel seen, supported, and validated?? We all know we aren't our best selves when we've got our own big feelings drowning out our parenting strategy brain!

Look for an opportunity today for intentional connection over correction (whether with your kiddo or yourself!) and let me know how it goes!

Share your thoughts in the WhatsApp Community!

Week 4

So far, we've been focusing on what kinds of things your kiddos want to do independently, and how you're managing with letting go and letting them.

Now I want to as you to think about things you wanted to do independently as a child, but weren't allowed to.

Conversely, maybe you were made to do something independently before you were ready.

I bet you're thinking of something already, or even several things.

What did that feel like? Where did it take up residence in your body, or your mind? What has stuck with you about it over the years?

Autonomy is a concept and experience that is deeply connected to our sense of power, control, trust, and self worth.

This is our space to explore that together.

Week 5

We’re still deep in our July theme of Autonomy, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how we communicate with our kids — especially around things like potty training.

Often, we try to guide kids without letting them in on the bigger picture. We ask them to “go sit on the potty” but don’t explain why, or check in on how they feel about it. We keep the conversation surface-level and avoid inviting them into the process.

This week, I want to challenge you to break the fourth wall. In theater, that means the actor looks directly at the audience — acknowledging the shared experience. I want you to do that with your child: drop the act, connect, and say the quiet part out loud.

💥 Be the Kool-Aid Man. Break that wall.

Talk openly about what you want them to do, why it matters to you, and then ask them what it’s like for them. Let it be a real conversation — not just a script.

And then? Come back here and tell us how it goes!

P.S. This is available in voice note format inside the Parent Collective WhatsApp Community!