October

Co-Parenting

This month, we’re exploring the theme of co-parenting—because teamwork works better than tug-of-war.

Theme Email

Week 1

Focus: Co-parenting

I dunno how to say this, so I'm just gonna say it:

Parenting is often a wildly unfair experience for half of the people involved.

Now, we here in the EPC know each other pretty well by now, so I don't think I need to explain this further.

Unfortunately, I can't fix the patriarchy. But what I can do, is help notice inequality in your everyday parenting practices, and equip you with tools to try to balance the scales.

The conversations we will have this month will be much less about "who does what and when" and a lot more about "are we on the same page about how we want to raise our little humans".

As always, we are gonna start with observation and data collection. You for sure already know the areas that feel rough, or smooth, but pay closer attention this week. See if you can nail down which kinds of situations bring about the discomfort (or the opposite!).

Weekly Challenge:
Pay close attention to what kinds of situations cause discomfort, or the opposite, between you and your co-parent. Look for common threads.

Week 2

Focus: What does co-parenting even mean?

Before we can start saying "this isn't working" or "this isn't fair", I think it's really important that ideas get named and clarified first. We might still arrive at "this isn't working/this is unfair", but at least we'll have a road map!

In your mind, what does an ideal co-parenting relationship look like? What's your ideal communication framework? How do you want to feel at the end of every day? What makes you feel seen and heard as a co-parent?

This week’s challenge:

Get really honest with yourself and answer the questions above. Bonus points for doing it in a journal or another recorded format. My recommendation: use AI! Copy and paste the following prompt into your LLM of choice:

Help me define what being a co-parent means to me.

1. Ask me the following questions one at a time and wait for my answers:

- What do I value most in my relationship with my co-parent?

- What do I hope our kids learn from seeing us parent together?

- What parts of co-parenting feel easy or natural to me?

- What parts feel hard or unfair right now?

- How do I want to show up, even when we disagree?

2. Don’t just agree with me or use nice predictive language — really help me peel back the layers to uncover my core truths and values.

3. Once I’ve answered everything, use my responses to craft a Co-parenting Mission Statement in this format:

"As a co-parent, I want to [core intention], so that [desired impact on kids/family]. I will do this by [specific commitments or guiding principles]."

If you feel comfy, go ahead and share the mission statement you end up with!

Week 3

Focus: Connection Points

Last week was all about figuring out what an ideal co-parenting relationship looks like for you.

This week, we’re gonna focus on connection and find the points of overlap with your co-parent.

What sits in the middle of your Venn Diagram? What doesn’t? Are those differences dealbreakers that require more conversation? And are you sure you both mean the same thing when you use similar words?

This week’s challenge:

Grab some paper and colored pencils and literally draw your Venn Diagram together. Choose up to max 5 values each and see where they land in importance, and in how you imagine living them out in your parenting.

Don't be afraid to get creative! Use color or placement to show which values feel most central/important, or where your confidence in teaching them differs. And if you feel comfy, share a photo of your diagram here! I’d love to see how they turn out!

Week 4

Focus: Practical Strategies

You've been busy gathering data the last few weeks, now it's time to do something with it. You need some practical strategies!

I've been listening, and what I keep hearing you asking is, "How do I deal with disagreeing with my partner when they are handling a situation in a way I don't like?" And my honest answer is, "It depends." And the amount of things it depends on is not a short list.

But, what I can give you today is a tool to help you find some of your own answers.

This week's challenge:

Make a date with your co-parent. Put it on the calendar, treat it very seriously! Have some snacks and your beverages of choice. Open the floor to genuine, honest, non-judgmental conversation about your parenting relationship. And use the following prompt to kick it all off! Just copy and paste into your LLM of choice:

Prompt:
Help me and my co-parent create a supportive parenting plan.

Your role:
Respond in the tone of a warm, grounded parent coach who keeps values, humanity, and emotional safety at the forefront.

You believe co-parenting isn’t about agreement — it’s about alignment, respect, and repair.
You hold space for two whole, complex humans raising other humans.
You guide us to name what matters most, without judgment or perfectionism.
When you ask follow-up questions, focus on curiosity, not critique.

Then continue with:

Ask me the following questions (one at a time, wait for my answers):
- What kind of parent do I want to be, most days?
- What do I genuinely appreciate about my co-parent’s approach?
- What situations tend to trip us up or create tension?
Then, ask my co-parent the same three questions.
Use our answers to help us spot the overlaps — the things that already connect us — and gently name the friction points that might need a closer look.
For each tension point, ask us two follow-up questions each about how we want to handle tricky moments — especially when we disagree, feel overwhelmed, or forget we’re on the same team.
Once we’ve both responded, write our Supportive Co-parenting Plan in this format:

As co-parents, we choose to prioritize [shared values or guiding principles] in our parenting relationship. We’ll do this by [specific habits or agreements you’ve both committed to], especially when [describe typical challenges]. Our goal is to [desired impact on the kids or family dynamic].

If you feel comfortable, share your co-parenting plan with us in the Parent Collective WhatsApp Community!