
Before we dive into the topic, let’s tackle a simple but important question: what do we really mean by “normal”?
What is "normal behavior"?
To be honest, I believe that “normal” behavior varies widely from child to child. Every action your child displays has its roots—medical, environmental, or situational. Understanding these reasons can help you address any concerns.
What’s more helpful is to consider three key questions:
Is the behavior in the bell curve, or is it an outlier?
Are these behaviors more than you can reasonably manage?
Are these behaviors a reaction to a big life change?
Let’s unpack each of these questions to help you navigate your child’s behavior and determine if there’s a reason to be concerned.
Is it in the Bell Curve?
First up, let’s discuss the bell curve. Most children display a range of behaviors at different times. Your job is to determine whether your child's behaviors are merely unusual or if they truly fall outside what could be considered "normal."
We typically expect behaviors like occasional tantrums or resistance at bedtime. This is stuff that's --technical term coming up-- within one standard deviation of the mean, or in other words: "in the bell curve".
To see if your child’s actions are on track, be honest with yourself. For instance, are those bedtime troubles normal resistance, or are they full meltdowns?
While many kids resist bedtime, if your child’s reactions are much more intense than friends or siblings, it’s time to take a closer look.
Remember, common behaviors can still be tough to manage. Parenting is a challenging role, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed by the typical hurdles.
Are the Behaviors More Than You Can Reasonably Manage?
Next, consider whether your child’s behaviors are more than you can handle. This question is vital for your well-being and your child's development.
Every parent has limits. Repeatedly facing difficult behaviors can deplete your energy and patience. If you’re frequently feeling overwhelmed, it might be a signal that something is wrong.
Picture this: your child experiences several meltdowns in a day over small issues—like choosing clothes or what game to play. It's not unusual for kids to experience meltdowns occasionally, but daily eruptions might indicate a deeper concern.
Don't hesitate to seek support. Discuss your feelings with trusted friends, family, or even professionals. Building a support network helps you evaluate situations more clearly and gather tools to enhance family dynamics.
Is your kid's behavior "normal"?
I genuinely have no idea.
Yup - my kid's a weirdo like everyone else!
I don't think it's supposed to be this hard, so maybe not.
Are the Behaviors a Reaction to a Big Life Change?
Lastly, consider any significant changes in your child's life that could be triggering these behaviors. Events like a new school, a recent move, or parental separation can cause stress and lead to unexpected actions.
Transitions can challenge children as they often struggle to articulate their feelings. Keep an eye out for patterns that match a larger life event.
For example, if your child suddenly starts acting out after moving to a new neighborhood or school, they might be wrestling with adjustments. Identifying these triggers is essential for an effective response.
Encourage your child to express their feelings and create a safe space for open dialogue. Sometimes, they just need a supportive environment to talk through their emotions.
Next Steps
Parenting is a winding road. Determining if your child’s behavior is “normal” involves more than checking for common patterns; it requires a deeper understanding of your child's distinct personality and environment.
Keep in mind the three crucial questions:
Is the behavior in the bell curve?
Are these behaviors more than you can reasonably manage?
Are these behaviors a reaction to a big life change?
By approaching your child's behavior with care and intention, you’ll be in a better position to support their growth and happiness. Are you ready to move away from old habits towards new strategies tailored to your family's unique needs? Let’s get started! Grab a coffee chat with me and let's dive in, together!
