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Parenting for Thought, Episode 4: Navigating the Complexities of Postpartum with Tiff D’Amico
- Emry Kettle
- Mar 7
- 5 min read
Postpartum is often portrayed as a joyful time, but for many parents, it comes with unexpected challenges, from mental health struggles to a lack of societal support. In this episode, I sat down with Tiff D’Amico, a postpartum strategist and advocate, to explore the realities of postpartum care, the missing village, and how we can better support new parents—especially those who are neurodivergent. Below are some key excerpts from our conversation, but I highly encourage listening to the full episode for the complete discussion.
Host: Emry Kettle | Guest: Tiff D’Amico
Chapter 1: Introduction & Setting the Stage
Introduction
Hello and welcome to Parenting for Thought. Today's episode talks about all things postpartum. Tiff D'Amico is here sharing not only her knowledge about postpartum depression, but about her own loss. So if this is going to be too much for you, please keep yourself safe today. Around the 32-minute mark, go ahead and skip 30 seconds to a minute and join us after.
Have a great day. And thanks for listening.
Meet Tiff D’Amico
Tiff: So yeah, it's actually kind of difficult, I think, to explain what I do, but in short, I work with mostly neurodivergent moms as they transition to motherhood, helping them plan and strategize for a postpartum experience that is free from anxiety, depression, rage, and all the fun stuff that one in five moms get to experience after they give birth. Sort of a coach, sort of a mentor, sort of a strategist, sort of a doula, a little bit of everything, all wrapped up into one.
Chapter 2: The Reality of Postpartum in Today’s World
Systemic Failures in Postpartum Support
Emry: Tiff, I don't know that I can put my disappointment into words for how we treat birthing parents.Tiff: Mm-hmm.Emry: It is wild to me how... now you're in the U.S., right?Tiff: In the U.S., so whatever you're about to say is worse.
Forced Motherhood & Lack of Support
Emry: Exactly. So as a fellow born and raised U.S. citizen, the amount of rhetoric around "you're pregnant, now you must have the baby" is just mind-blowing. And then, once the baby is here, we don't support families at all—no paid leave, no childcare, no systemic support. And if you struggle? Well, that's just too bad.
Tiff: Right, and even the minimal support that does exist isn’t accessible to everyone. If you don’t have the right insurance, or the right financial situation, you’re left out of resources. And even when you do qualify, you have to fight so hard just to get basic help. It’s exhausting.
Chapter 3: The Silent Struggles of Postpartum Anxiety & Depression
Misunderstanding & Misdiagnosing Postpartum Struggles
Emry: Why do you think so many parents don’t recognize their own struggles?
Tiff: A huge part of it is because no one is telling them what’s normal and what’s not. When I was struggling with postpartum anxiety, I didn’t even know postpartum anxiety was a thing. I Googled “postpartum depression” a thousand times, but I didn’t fit the description. So I just thought I was failing.
The Dangers of Ignoring Mental Health Needs
Emry: And that’s terrifying. Because if you don’t know what’s happening to you, how can you get help?
Tiff: Exactly. And it’s even harder for neurodivergent parents because so many of us are undiagnosed. If you don’t even know that you have ADHD or autism, then you also don’t know why everything about parenting feels ten times harder for you. You just assume you’re bad at it.
Chapter 4: The Missing Village & Cultural Expectations
Where is the Village?
Emry: The phrase "it takes a village" gets thrown around all the time, but where is the village? Parents today are more isolated than ever.
Tiff: Absolutely. The idea of community parenting has completely vanished. Generations ago, extended family members were involved in raising children. Now, parents are expected to do it all on their own, often with little or no support. And for neurodivergent parents, that isolation can feel even worse.
The Toxic “I Can Do It All” Mindset
Emry: Let’s talk about this cultural pressure to do everything ourselves. The “I am woman, hear me roar” mindset was supposed to be empowering, but now it’s making people refuse to ask for help.
Tiff: Yes! We’ve swung the pendulum too far. Independence is great, but at what cost? We were never meant to parent in isolation. Humans evolved in villages, but now we’re expected to do it all alone, and it’s breaking people.
Chapter 5: The Role of Systems & Partnering for Balance
Why Mental Load is Unequal & How Fair Play Helps
Emry: I want to talk about the Fair Play method because I think it’s something more parents need to know about.
Tiff: Yes! Fair Play is an incredible system designed to create an equitable division of labor in the home. It’s a card-based method where every responsibility—childcare, household tasks, emotional labor—is written down so that both partners can visually see the workload.
Emry: And the key is that holding a task means doing the entire thing, from beginning to end, right?
Tiff: Exactly. It’s not just "Oh, I’ll do the dishes." It’s planning the meal, buying groceries, cooking, and then cleaning up. When you divide tasks this way, instead of one person managing everything, the mental load is actually shared.
Chapter 6: Preparing for Postpartum Before Birth
What Parents Should Be Doing Before Baby Arrives
Emry: If you could get every expectant parent to prepare for postpartum in one way, what would it be?
Tiff: I would tell them to build their support network before the baby arrives. That means making a postpartum plan that includes who is going to help, what specific tasks they can take on, and how to get mental health support if needed.
Emry: So it’s not just about preparing a nursery and buying baby gear—it’s about preparing for survival.
Tiff: Exactly. People spend more time researching car seats than they do thinking about what their own mental health needs will be postpartum. And that has to change.
Chapter 7: Final Thoughts & Resources for Support
What Every Parent Needs to Hear
Emry: If someone listening takes away only one thing from this conversation, what do you hope it is?
Tiff: That struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Parenthood is hard. Postpartum is hard. And if you’re having a difficult time, that doesn’t mean you’re not a good parent—it means you need support. You deserve support. And you don’t have to do this alone.
Where to Find Support & Connect with Tiff
Tiff: So my website is https://www.tiffdee.com, that’s T-I-F-F-D-E-E. I offer a free weekly support group focused on neurodivergent parents. I also do free 30-minute discovery calls to help people find support, even if they can't afford my services. And if you're looking for broader resources, definitely check out Postpartum Support International.
Emry: Tiff, you are amazing. We are absolutely doing a part two because we have SO much more to talk about. Thank you for sharing all of this today.
Tiff: Absolutely, can’t wait!